Howdy Teepee Tribe
How's your week going?
Mine has been filled by official landmines and spanners in the works!
Definitions
If you look it up in the dictionary or via google, depending on the page you land on, the phrase "to throw a spanner in the works”, will be defined as a person or thing, deliberately or otherwise, doing something to prevent the successful implementation of a plan.
They are, deliberately or otherwise, a hindrance. An Obstruction.
And as a Homeless Jane Doe I face them on a daily basis.
Origins
Being an inquisitive sort, I was wondering as to the origin of the phrase. I didn't have to look far. I found one explanation on @phrases.org.
Apparently there is a legend within the oil industry, that a Mr Ewen McGregor upon setting up his 'Derick' and drilling a hole of some 700 feet, was listening for the joyous sounds of his fortunes about to be made with an imminent oil strike, when his plan became obstructed.
"How?" you ask!
Well apparently his son Jethro was fiddling about and accidentally (or otherwise?) dropped a spanner down the hole!
And so the phrase was born
Can you imagine the disappointment? The accusations? The grumpy moody men?
The cost of having to rectify the problem?
I know that feeling
My week has not been so perfect either.
And I'm sure in the weeks ahead I will be bearing the brunt of additional costs, or in my case loss of potential earnings!
You see over the last few weeks I have been diligently planning my writing. I've returned to using my Buju (otherwise known as the Bullet Journal). It's always worked me out of tight spots before!
I've been trying to work out some strategies as to how I can earn a living, to relieve myself and Helios from the quagmire that’s swamping us and preventing our departure from the Tangled Teepee.
I had just detangled enough of my spaghetti brain to make it function on a regular basis. Homelessness and executive functioning not being the best of friends!
I’m making slow progress, still not earning enough for that Gluten Free loaf of bread. But at least I was beginning to see the start of that breadcrumb trail us writers are expected to trudge.
When low and behold,
Everybody decided to throw spanners at my work!
My readers were buffered
I write over at @medium.
But my audience (at least those that are actually seeing my work) seemed confused over what was real and what was fiction.
So I've set up a publication where all my work will eventually be catalogued into my library in (hopefully) some sort of orderly fashion.
But then Medium decided to change their plans (again!) and take away my ability to publish from my phone.
I thought I'd just managed to sneak my last draft through in time before the gates closed. When I checked on Monday morning (via a nifty chrome extension) it was showing in the distribution review line.
But then I couldn't access my tablet all week (thanks Helios (see below!)). And I saw no views from my phone? When I finally got hold of my tablet again I rechecked its status. It showed as 'Distribution Disabled'. WTF?
I'm not sure as to the cause of the problem. Whether it's because I published from my phone as they were fiddling with the app programming or whether it's because I took the monetization off. It was a newsletter and I wanted everyone to see it!. I've republished it via my publication, and reinstated monetization (it will undoubtedly reduce its visibility?).
But you can read it for free on the link above. I'm hoping it will get through to a few readers?
Helios's Moody Mondays
My partner Helios suffers with depression and PTSD (and probably more mental health conditions as yet undiagnosed).
His recovery is hindered by the homeless situation and lack of cooperative official help. But it's something we are working on together (which completely baffles him in the first place as he’s never had emotional support before!).
But it leaves me on a constant rollercoaster ride.
A manic week of production by me is squeezed in, when he feels able to leave the tent and venture into the wider world, thus giving me some time and space to create.
But when out in the wider world he is often the target of trolls. He has done nothing toward these people to aggravate them, but there are certain automatic assumptions made toward you when they discover the 'homeless' label applies.
It results in further depression, an inability to leave the 'safe' space of the tent (where he knows he is understood and supported) and the fall back position of his other safe space - Gaming. He's clocked up an inordinate amount of time on his games this week. His tablet burnt out a few weeks ago, and funds lacking means it can not be replaced, which means he's using mine.
And I can not work!
It took till Friday to get my tablet away from him. Hence the writing production line stalled. Progress (slow as it was) hindered!
No ID
Part of our homeless dilemma stems from the issue of a lack of identity documentation.
It's a complex issue, hindered by Helios's mental condition ( the blank spots in his memory) and inadequate documentation processes and their disparities to change over time.
Up until this year we have had no official help on this issue (although in fairness that might have been equally hindered by a trolling police officer after his sergeant's badge!).
But this year we've managed to find a more helpful kind of person in an official position. She is a verifier for the UK citizen card. It's a ‘small’ form of Id and I’m not sure how it's received in official circles. But it's something. And gotta be better than nothing!
So we did all the paperwork. And sat waiting for a few weeks for the cards to return.
We set up a meeting to collect them.
But they got left on the kitchen table!
Thankfully, only a slight delay. We rearranged and picked them up the next day.
We have a plan for their use and only time will tell of their benefit.
But I'm hoping it's another official hurdle skipped!
GP & Psychiatric Help
Helios's mental health condition began long before the homelessness.
From all our chats regarding his life (which has taken me four years to pry out of him!) I'm fairly sure he has conditions that should have been diagnosed in his childhood. For whatever reason, they seem to have been missed.
He has asked for help before, but every request was met with "'it's all in your head!". It took an entire year to (and a cooperative police officer) to get him on a Dr's list because of our homeless status. That was just for Helios because of his ashema. I'm not even registered with a service!
And it took me accompanying Helios to the doctors with black eyes and cracked ribs before anyone would take him seriously.
He is slowly improving since referral to psychiatric services in our current location.
But the GP service is still poor here.
His psychiatrist prescribes what he needs. The Dr's are supposed to maintain that prescription until they are told otherwise. But there's constantly medication missing.
Trying to sort it out over the phone is ridiculous since they never answer their phone!
I've tried 150 times in a single day (that's no exaggeration) getting nothing but the engaged tone. If Helios turns up at the surgery to try to sort it, the receptionist (who I'm sure has some paranoia issues) slams the door in his face and locks it. And tells him he has to ring for an appointment to gain access to the surgery. Ironic!
We had a review booked with psychiatric services.
But now the psychiatrist has had to suddenly go on leave (reasons unknown), rescheduling is done, but we’re left hanging another month before we can get anything done about his as yet undiagnosed condition!
So yet another spanner in the works!
So my week has been completely screwed!
I have very little work to show. And yet again I need to reassess my plan.
I'm not sure that it can ever work under these circumstances!
But I know I have to keep trying.
But it's like trying to tear down the Berlin wall!
I'm feeling oppressed by everything.
Every little spark of motivation washed away by the tidal quagmire of homelessness!
How’s your plans going? Get back to me in the comments!
Ta ta for now.
0X0 rhoda